On Friday, while eating a late lunch at my desk, I checked Twitter and followed several people that were on #FF lists with me. I also checked their profiles, web links (if they had one), and read some of their Tweets. In addition, I included them on one or more of my Twitter lists, including my T1 list. I had been using my T1 list to keep track of Tweeps that had not yet followed me back. Later in the afternoon the following disturbing exchange, using the Twitter Reply function, occurred with a Tweep that I had included on my Lancaster and Central PA and the T1 lists. I have not used his real Twitter name to protect him. I have used Tweep#1 instead.
- Tweep#1 to me: MelCarlton What’s “t1″, and what constitutes me as such, sir?
- Me to Tweep#1: Tweep#1 Pretty observant. You need to follow me back to find out, sir. (Tweep#! is the only Tweep that ever asked about the list. I thought that he was observant)
- Tweep#1 to me: MelCarlton Why?
- Me to Tweep#1: Tweep#1 I can’t tell. I’ll unfollow you to fix your 22222222 problem!
I unfollowed Tweep#1 and logged of at that time.
FYI, Tweep#1 had mentioned in a Tweet that #FF had messed up his 22222222. When our exchange began, he had 223 followers, he followed 222, and he appeared on 22 lists. When I unfollowed him, his numbers went back to all 2’s. (I was actually trying to be helpful.)
I logged back on to Twitter from my Blackberry later that afternoon while I was lifting weights at home. I saw that Tweep#1 had posted another Twitter Reply and responded.
- Tweep#1 to me: MelCarlton Pretty sure that you can, and I have the right to know. Why are you being childish / a creeper?
- Me to Tweep#1: Tweep#1 Renamed the list. It should be crystal clear now. Thanks for your help.
I received no response from Tweep#1.
Later Friday night I reviewed all of my list names and edited them to make sure that they were clear.
On Saturday, I sent the following Twitter Reply to Tweep#1:
- Tweep#1 Thanks for the question yesterday. I edited all of my Twitter list descriptions. They should be much clearer now!
I still have not received a response. In addition, Tweep#1 apparently has blocked me. I don’t think anyone else ever blocked me.
Hear are the five lessons that I learned:
- Lesson 1: Be careful who you follow. I thought that I was being careful, but obviously I wasn’t careful enough.
- Lesson 2: Make sure that your Twitter list names are clear. I created that T1 list when I was organizing my followers. I should have made the list name clearer. I have since corrected that mistake. The new name is “Nice Tweeps that have not followed me back yet”.
- Lesson 3: Answer questions directly and don’t engage in banter with someone you don’t know. I was engaging in banter. It is now clear to me that Tweep#1 was not.
- Lesson #4: This one is directed more to Tweep#1 than to me. Don’t question someone’s emotional maturity and character openly on the Internet. Especially when you don’t even know the person.
- Lesson #5: Most of all, I learned that communicating through Tweets is not like communicating face to face. You can’t hear the person’s tone of voice or see their body language. Therefore, it is difficult to know whether you are engaging in playful banter or are involved in a serious disagreement, until it is too late.
I take full responsibility for what occurred. I am sorry that I included Tweep#1 on a list with a vague name. I can see why he got upset. If my list name was as clear as it is now, Tweep#1 would never have asked the question that started this disturbing exchange. However, I do believe that Tweep#1’s last Reply was over-the-top and intended to harm me. I would appreciate an apology from Tweep#1.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please feel free to comment. In addition, if you are on one of my Twitter lists and have questions or would like to be removed from the list or moved to another list, let me know.
Tweep 1 here, AKA @DrawingBlanks here. I’m glad I was referred to this post by a follower, so that I can respond and attempt to explain my thought processes behind my side of this exchange.
First, I want to make clear that the 22222222 bit wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously in the least. It was just a dumb, sarcastic tweet I blurted out out of the coincidental observation of the numbers. Didn’t mean anything. I didn’t actually care. My sense of humor tends to be rather dry and sarcastic. Other followers’ responses indicated this was obvious, but alas, as you say, it’s hard to tell on the internet. More on that later.
Now, when I saw I was listed in an obtusely named Follower list, my reaction was innocent curiosity, and so I inquired.
Your vague response of “You need to follow me back to find out, sir.” struck me as obtuse and bothersome. Who is this guy? Why is he withholding information from me? Is he hiding something? Is this a cheap strategy for just getting more followers?
I inquired further.
“Why?”
“I can’t tell.”
By this point, I assumed you either were hiding something, or trying to, more or less, coerce me into following you. Yes, I jumped to conclusions. I do not know you, you were outright refusing to clarify anything, and so I made my own conclusions. I do not take kindly to people trying to play games on the internet, and that is how I percieved what you were doing. If you, stranger that you are, had some unknown thing you were hiding, that’d be creepy. If you were trying to play some sort of game to get me to follow you back, that’d be childish. Hence, my response. It was not my intent to offend. I was being defensive, and letting you know my patience had run out. And so, I blocked you. Overreacted? It does seem so. However, I stand by my position that when someone you don’t know is being vague with you and possibly playing games with you on the internet, my response made logical sense. However, I should have been more clear, less abrasive.
I do apologize for offending you, and I accept your own apology. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, and miscommunication on both ends led to this. I sincerely hope you will not harbor hard feelings.
For the future, a simple
or :p face can do wonders for letting people know the tone you’re intending to convey.
Dan
Dan,
Thanks for your response. I am glad that someone referred you to this post. I was hoping to clear the air. Thanks for accepting my apology. I gladly accept yours. No hard feelings.
Actually I thought your 22222222 comment was verify funny. My offer to unfollow you (I should have said temporarily) was also an attempt at humor. Obviously a bad one.
You’re right that I don’t know you and you don’t know me. However, I now believe that we are both people of good will.
The T1 list was not an attempt to get followers. Everyone on the list was also on one of my other lists. These lists all had much clearer names such as: Lancaster and Central Pa. It was just my way of keeping track of people that I followed that hadn’t followed me back yet. I created it because Twitter did not provide an easy way to do this. I am pretty organized and it was just part of my way to organize Twitter.
When I said “pretty observant” in my first response that was intended as a complement. Hundreds of Tweeple have been on that list and you are the first one to ask about it.
Since no one ever asked me about it, I left the name vague. Partly because I didn’t want to put any pressure on people to follow me back. I had thought about giving it a clearer name. But, I decided, if it wasn’t broke, why fix it. It broke in a big way on Friday.
I am only interested in connecting with real people and organizations that want to connect with me. I do wish that you had clicked through to my LinkedIn profile an done a little research on me, before you assumed bad intentions. You could also have checked with other mutual local followers. I try to be pretty transparent on Twitter. I use my real name and picture and my linked LinkedIn profile contains a lot of information about me.
I did some research on you before I decided to follow you. I looked at some of your Tweets and Twitter followers. I also clicked through to your linked site. I am pretty careful about who I follow.
I also wish that you had followed me just long enough so that we could have exchanged a couple of direct messages. I am still much more comfortable with direct messages than with Twitter Replies. You could have unfollowed me after the exchange if you wanted too. In addition, I would have gladly taken you off the list if you had asked me to.
I any event, the conversation would never have occurred if the list name had been less vague. So for that and for my seemingly obtuse initial response to your query, I apologize.
Best regards,
Mel